The most thing which’s killing most shy people ( introvert in a special mention), is to meet new faces, is to be in front of a situation that requires interaction with new people, to talk to them and make daily talks. it is quite easier when it concerns talking about work purposes or special subjects that call for small talk & Q-A (Question-Answer) talks, but these situation does require sometime to develop the conversation in another level which will make the person strongly present in his surroundings and his space.
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The question “how can i change my life” , can be asked in another way, cause it’s not always about how you’re living you’re life, May be the life you’re having is better than 70% of all the population in your country or more, maybe changing your life will make life worst for you, we cannot change life but we can improve ourselves and improve the situations we’re encountering.
Before telling you small steps that are efficient to help you beating shyness and make you strong against these scary situation, let’s talk about a special word which is mentioned above, “SCARED OF PEOPLE”, if you look deeply into this you will regret saying that, cause who’s that person on earth that will make your life hard? you’re the master of your life, scared of people, meaning that all persons you meet are going to do something bad to you & will hurt you, which is not correct at all, what the worst thing that can happen, they will laugh at you, maybe they will talk about you on your back, or they will take a small picture of you in their minds, but what will they earn from it, nothing absolutely nothing, they are just making their heads full of unwanted and non useful things, and what is it for you in that, you’re gaining experience for meeting them, having new ideas from them, it’s a 100% beneficial situation for you, perhaps it’s A SCARY SITUATION but not SCARY PEOPLE, that way you’re just putting them in higher level than you and this is will make the situation worst.
believe in yourself first, cause you know a lot and you experienced a lot, you’re always on top of every Human being, you have something and you know something that the others have not.
here i will put you through some tips that will help you overcome these situations:
- Be Confident:
Most important thing, be confident, act confident. Maybe at first you’ll be acting it but step by another you’ll gain it and will be one of your most valuable features.
Try to maintain your actions as to show others that you’re definitely not scared, and i repeat this one, show them that you’re not scared, cause once they feel your fear they will try to take profit from you, which will not be helpful.
Keep eye contact, get closer to your opponent, shake hands in strong way, engage first in the first talks, even that you’re not good at talking but engage first in saying “hello”, this will improve your position and will give you a first star in your being confident process.
- Focus and be mindful
Once you are in, never think about getting back. this is to mean, once you make the first talk with people, do not think about yourself and distract your mind with harmful thoughts, keep your thoughts and feelings arranged and inline with your “being confident” process, also a very important thing, is to be a good listener, this will let you take time to chain your ideas and will help you set your next words.
mindfulness will let you speak with clear voice and this is very important to show off your confident person
- Be you (“be vulnerable”)
Once you meet new people & as always, everyone will start making the picture of your personality, this is the normal human being process, even you, you will start shaping people mind in your head, so you have to give others the real image of you, do not fake yourself to show that you’re a special person just be you, show other the real you so that they will get the real picture of you. this will enhance your position among the group that you’re engaged in people will start considering you and involving you in the conversations.
I know that i’ve mentioned before that you have to act confident but this is a quality that you’re intending to build and not something that you will fake just to impress people and one time use, they will discover the real you sooner or later and then you’ll be in worst position, so act with qualities you want to build (confident, intellectual, caring …) and not ( cool, fun famous person, careless …) these last they will only harm you later.
- Talk about anything
The conversations in a group of people will generate a lot of subjects and ideas that will be coming & going, try to engage don’t sit back and listen only, try to talk even with that one sentence that you have in mind ( and this is will be my next point) ,just express those Three, four, five words that you have in mind.
The shyness will not be beaten if you sit back and close your self in that box of dark thoughts, listen to people and say something, anything related to that subject even that you’re not expert in it, you have always that door of questions to open, if you really don’t have an idea about the subject, just ask questions about what you do not know, you will be able to answer later to questions that will be asked for you, just do not sit silent. believe me it will make things harder then ever.
- Get out of the box
the most killing thing is that shy and timid people, they always have something to say, but they keep it to themselves, WHY ? afraid that they will judge you? afraid that they will shut you up? afraid that you’ll be the center of a laughing community?
you’re right this might happen, but you can always change it:
– if they got judgements, you can change their thoughts, cause you’ll engage again and again and you will prove you point
– if they shut you up. NO they won’t, no one can shut you up. you can say whatever you like
– if they start laughing. OKEY , Great let us make it a joke laugh with them and continue with your talk. no problem at all.
Drihem.Zouheir On Quora